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William woke to a warm, wet rag smelling of beef being dragged across his face and 4 small pressures on his chest. No, make that 6, and another rag being swished across his mouth. He blinked his eyes open sleepily. “Ahh, thanks for the wake up!” he grinned to his pair of pet wiener dogs. He hopped promptly out of bed, wearing not pajamas but his best business suit. However, as soon as he had placed one foot on the floor, he slipped violently on a misplaced puddle of water near the foot of his bed. “Silly water!” he warbled, and attempted to move it out of the way with a broom. Then he continued down the extremely long, cold stone spiral stairs, where his family was eating breakfast: french toast and omelets.

“Ah, William!” exclaimed his father. “Come, eat some… oh.”

In despair he watched his son do what he almost always did with food: stuff it in his pockets. His mother coughed discreetly into her sleeve and murmured about needing to have him tested. Tested for what? thought William. He had always done well in school. He loved the surprised looks on his teachers’ faces when they realized the class clown who never seemed to care about anything educational consistently received the highest scores in the class.

His mother opened her mouth, clearly about to say something along the lines of a polite version of: “Take your breakfast out of your pockets and eat like a normal person does because you look like a slob” but he got up, damp, sagging pockets and all, kissed his parents goodbye and went out to the yard to, first, go fish, and then do what was his greatest pleasure every day: spy.