|Written by:||Jysella Plazma Coldstalker|
|Next chapter:||Of Radar|
(I wrote this way back in 2012 so sorry if things aren't that good. Also, I've edited out profanities.
I apologize in advance for spelling/grammar issues. Enjoy :) )
Waking up is just something I don't want to do. When I'm asleep, it's like nothing can happen to me, like there's nothing more my mother can do to hurt me. Maybe its because sleep is so similar to death. My mother, Vivian Jones, was a great mother; nurturing, understanding, comforting. She was great. Then she caught my father cheating on her, the sight she'd never forget. An argument broke out and my mother kicked my dad out of the house and two days later divorced him. I had no say in it, I didn't have a chance to speak my mind about it with my mother or in court. Custody was given to my mom because my dad couldn't support me, let alone himself. After a week my mother got an addiction to alcohol and became violent. Yet in every can of beer or cup of whine or whatever she drank, she would remember how much my father loved me.
She began to think that he loved me more than her. She'd remember how he'd compliment my azure eyes and things like that. One night, while she was drunk, she beat me, tied me up and put me in the bathroom tub to drown me but instead, she took the bottle of peroxide and looked at it. I trembled with fear and I whimpered and cried. Then I watched as she opened the bottle. I thrashed around to get the tape off of my hands, ankles and mouth but it did no good. She then looked at me, the look on her face was like she was telling me that she's going to get revenge. So she grinned, forced one of my eyelids open and poured the peroxide in. Then opened the other, the last thing I ever saw was her devilish grin and hearing her cackle plus my screams of pain. And I try my hardest to never, ever, remember the pain. My mother, didn't remember at all what happened, she just thought my eyes had given out on me, since blindness runs in my family. I coped though, I learned to remember how many steps there were to the bus stop and my house, and if need be, how many steps it took to walk to school.
My mom didn't give my blindness much thought since she assumed it was part of my life, she didn't even bother to call the hospital. And every night, I had nightmares about that night when she did that to me. The images are still in my mind, just waiting to torment me. I was 12 at the time, that happened 5 years ago. I'm 17 now and I go to Riverview High, the only high school my mother can afford since her business career doesn't pay her much because her boss didn't treat her right.
Today, I'd walk to school, hanging my head since my eyes were no longer needed to tell me where I'm going. I relied on sound, memory and sometimes smell to find my way around. As I walked down the streets I always listened for the cab drivers cursing at the car ahead of them, I'd listen for the store shoppers who would ring a bell on their way into the store and I'd strain my ear to hear the children's laughter as they played along the streets. All the time counting my steps and discretely smelling for the flowers that surrounded my school.
Tulips, Snap-dragons, Roses and Violets. The neighborhood was mostly white, and to tell the truth, it was hard for a black person like me to live there. There were a couple of other black people but they just kept to themselves as they worked. I'd soon find the street that I had to cross, the only fear I had of this journey. However, I had someone reliable to help me cross it. Katrina Manson. My best friend since I was 11. She was slightly popular but not by much. She would hang out with everybody, be herself with no fear, she'd dress how she wanted but kept it modest. She'd sometimes put aside a style to wear for the day. I know, because she would organize them with me and ask for my opinion on a color.
The one that was popular, to the highest degree she would appoint herself was Jennifer Tinder. She was a blogger, cheer leader, grade A+ student and a liar. She'd blog negatives on people for no reason and never get caught, and if she did she'd lie her way out of it. She was an actress when it came to lying. In the entire high school I only had one friend and that was Katrina, she never picked on me, never was mean. If there was a girl to be in Jennifer's position of popularity it was Katrina, she never picked on anyone. But she was ready for a fight if someone picked on her. The kids in this school usually kept to themselves, they feared if they stepped out of the invisible line they would get an image. An image that would be the opposite of who they really are. I then felt my arm being nudged, I awoke and lifted my dizzy head from my desk.
"Wake up, Azure. School's over y'know." Katrina said as she shook me out of my sleep. She knew that I don't get much sleep, so if I dozed off, she'd let me snooze.
"Sorry, couldn't help it," I yawned.
"I know, I get sleep problems too. Probably because my stupid brother plays with this drums until 12:00AM." She explained as she got up. I snickered at the statement. I got up and got my back pack and headed to my locker and put the books, that the teacher would give me, (Not that I could read them) in there. The teacher really only gave me books to tease me. Then after that, Katrina and I walked to the swings where we would hang out.
"Crud, I forgot my Ipod. Stay here, I will be right back." Then I heard her run off. From the tone of her voice, I'd say she's up to something. After a couple of minutes, Jennifer and her small gang came over. They giggled as they messed with my shirt, insulting that I had no sense of style or taste. They mocked everything about me, from my race to the color of my shoes.
"Ohmygod. Didn't you even look in the mirror when you did your hair?" Jennifer said as I dropped my back pack and backed up, folding my arms insecurely because she had gotten too close for my comfort. Close enough to where I could feel her breath bouncing off my face.
She just poked and prodded me some more, this time mocking my blindess more than usual. Tears began to fill my eyes because I knew I was helpless, I didn't want to fight back because there really wasn't anything I could do, if I fought back they wouldn't stop. It would feed them.
"Awww, wook at her she's cwying!" I heard some other member of Jennifers little gang say like they were talking to a baby. Then I heard footsteps, and it wasn't Katrina. I thought it was another person to come insult me so I tried to get out of the corner I was in.
"Oh, your trying to leave?" Jennifer asked sarcasticly as she blocked my way, I bumped into her and backed up again. I hung my head.
"The least you can do is give her space." Someone said, in a slightly defensive tone, I didn't recognize the voice, all I could tell was; it was a guys voice, but it shocked me because nobody steps in if Jennifer has her victim cornered with her words.
"You must be the new kid, your kinda cute." Jennifer giggled. The guy she said that too only groaned lowly.
"Oh, you think we're being mean don't you? We're just messing with her, she's one of our best friends. Right Azy?" Jennifer once again tried to get out of it by saying that and wrapping an arm around my neck and shoulder, slightly choking me.
I hated the nickname 'Azy' and they knew it, they would always say that to me and it just got under my skin. They all, except for the guy, giggled and walked away, texting on their cell phones, I heard buttons clicking and footfall.
"I heard they were good people, sorry you were bullied on." The person said then picked up my back pack and handed it to me, I could hear the fabric rubbing against the grass, I took it but didn't say a word.
"Uh, are you okay?" He asked, I still kept silent. Then I heard familiar footsteps, Katrina was back.
"Awww, I wanted to do the introductions." She said in a pouty voice. I was confused and looked at her questionably. Me and, I'm guessing, the guy was in a confused silence.
"Okay, let me explain. This is the new kid, I was introducing him to all the kids around the high school,"
"Oh, well, thats nice," I muttered still waiting for my chance to slip away from this boy. I just wasn't comfortable around men.
"Alright so, before the bus gets here; Azure, this is Kyle Hemlock, he transferred from Sunset Valley. Kyle this is Azure Jones, my best friend."
"Uhh, nice to meet you, Azure." He said nicely but in a still rather confused sort of tone.
"Come on, Az, don't be shy." Katrina encouraged. I sighed then took a step closure to the guy who had helped me out and placed my hands on his face. Only to get an idea of what he would look like, and to satisfy Katrina. He trembled a little, I felt his eyelashes rub against my hand as he blinked a few times, then his eyebrows all of a sudden point downwards then he took a sudden step back like I had startled him.
"What was that about?" Kyle exclaimed in a demanding voice, I could tell he was embarrassed. I just sighed, it was more embarrassing for me to have to do that just so I can get a look of a person, even more so, this guy is a stranger. Katrina then nudged me to explain the ordeal. Why she couldn't do it is beyond me.
"I-I'm sorry, it's just- it's just that I'm blind," My voice was shaky, I know Kyle is still somewhat of a stranger but I didn't want to freak anyone out.
"Oh... Sorry." He sighed. I rubbed the back of my neck, still in an awkward state. I heard a bus door open and the driver telling the students to come aboard so he can take them home. I, however, won't be taking the bus, I know Jennifer will be there so she can finish up her game and I didn't want to go through it with a bus full of people. I heard Katrina clap and bounce up and down with excitement.
"Yay, bus is here. I'll catch you later Az and Kyle!" She squeaked and ran off. Earlier today she told me she's on some sort of diet to lose some weight for her prom dress. But, as she put it, her mother had to make her favorite pizza today.
"Well, um, I'm gonna go home now. It was nice to meet you." I said as I started walking away, but in the opposite direction the bus was.
"Hey, wait, aren't you getting on the bus?"
"They usually don't go my route... I-I'm just gonna walk home," I lied, I don't like talking about how I always get teased.
"Oh. I could walk with you? I heard about this town's crime so I just thought maybe you'd like some company on the way," A small, uncontrollable, smile twitched itself across my lips.
Nobody offers to walk me home, unless its Katrina. But, if my mom saw me with any type of boy, she'd flip.
"Thank you but, I can't. Talk to you tomorrow." I said then hurried off, I heard a faint 'Okay, bye' as I left. As I walked my usual path home I could hear almost everything that went on in the apartments I passed, from a man argueing with his wife about bills to a family at dinner time saying a prayer, I remember how my dad would say prayers. Mom just wasn't the same after everything with Dad was signed, said and done.
"Hi swee-tie," She hiccuped. Judging by the lack of food smell, my mother hadn't cooked anything at all. The only thing I did smell was her liquor.
"W-whats for dinner?" I hesitantly asked, I have to be careful with what I say, it could start a fight.
"I don't know. Theres some salad left in the fridge, ohh, and fish sticks." Said my mother, who's attention will always be set on the television and her drinking. God forbid the cable should go out. I sighed and walked over to the refrigerator and felt around for the salad, found it but it smelled horrible and felt mushy. I put it back in its place, mom never really threw anything out unless it was moldy. I took the fishsticks and warmed them up.
"63...54...12 come on, come on, so close, 94..." She slurred, shifting in her seat.
"And the last number is 17-" I heard the person say.
"Aww-" Then the microwave beeped before she could slur an obscenity. I'm glad it did honestly, although I could faintly hear her cursing out the TV. I took out the fishsticks and leaned against the counter to enjoy my small meal but then, apparently, my mother noticed.
"What're you doin? Eat that outside, you barnyard pig." She growled, I hadn't even taken one bite. I silently obeyed her and went outside event if her actions didn't make any sense. After words, I walked to our trashcan and threw out the remains of the cardboard box. Then I decided to try to relax at the tiny pond near my house. I sat on the bench and listened to the fountains, the wind blowing in the tree's and the wild flower smell. We had always lived near a city yet, it was still somewhat of a country looking place, last time I saw it.
In the background of my house, and over the city, it was always foggy, some people say its the spirits of the construction workers who had fallen off buildings way back when they first built Riverview. There was always wild flowers and beautiful tree'. It was so peacful, I could sleep here, or I at least wish I could. I thought of many things as I sat there relaxing, like Katrina's happy, childish attitude with things. She wasn't always like that, when we first met she was the quiet kid in the corner of the class-room. But after her parents died in a home invasion, she changed into the always jittery girly girl I know, she only does that as a therapy to keep her mind off the past events. After the attack, she was adopted two months later, her new parents were kind to her.
They were an Italian couple who lost their child in a car accident. Katrina was happy because her Father was Italian and her mother was from Vietnam. Every Tuesday, without fail, she buys flowers and puts them on her parents graves and, sort of, talks to them as she sat next to the Tombstones. I switched my attention to this Hemlock kid, why was he transferred? Even if its cheaper here, I wouldn't recommend the school. He did sound nice, he had a soft voice when he spoke and seemed to be well mannered. Although, I can't say I exactly call him friend, I don't know him too well, not sure I want too, most guys I knew seemed to be nice and all that stuff that would make a girl like him but then they would turn into a monster. Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a loud glass object breaking and then yelling followed by argueing and more crashes. The door flew open and was slammed shut.
"Get back in here!" I heard a man yell. Then I heard an irritated sigh, but they didn't go back in, they instead walked up the small patio I was on and leaned against the wood railing, for a few minutes. I didn't say anything. At all. But then they sat on the bench I was on, sort of next to me. I trembled slightly, I really didn't know who it was, I didn't recognise anything.
"You probably heard that." I heard them say. Thankfully, it was only Kyle. I silently let out a sigh of relief and also nodded to him.
"Is it okay if I asked what happened?" I asked, I was curious, and I wasn't being nosey I was just making conversation.
"Captain Butterfingers dropped the lassagna my mom made. Her dish broke and pieces went everywhere, not that the lassagna was important but the dish was a keepsake from my Great-Grandmother. They're kinda, you know, argueing that my dad meant to do it because he hates his Mother-in-law,"
"Oh, sorry." We just sat together on the wood seat, involuntarily listening to the horrible curses, oaths and wishes Kyle's parents thrown at each other. It confused me that it was all over a lassagna dish, I guess one thing lead to another.
"Oh my god, are they going to be okay?" I accidentally said out loud after his Dad had yelled that he wishes that Kyle's mother would be locked in a room, to starve to death and never heard from again.
"Yeah... they'll evantually apologize, kiss and make up." He yawned, like it was just a regular thing that happens. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably at the silence. So I got up like I was going home, not like I could do anything else, curfew was already out so I couldn't go into the city without a police man taking me back home only to get a stupid lecture from my mom.
"I thought you said the bus doesn't go your route? It stopped here when I got off." He asked. I figured I might as well tell him, he seemed alright enough.
"I lied, I didn't want to get teased by Jennifer again," I explained as he stood up. I could tell, he was slightly taller than me, by I think a couple inches.
"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow I suppose. Goodbye Kyle," I said then turned to walk down the stairs.
"Okay, goodbye Azy," I stopped once he said 'Azy' I sighed and turned back to him and involuntarily glared.
"Please, don't call me Azy... I don't-I don't like it,"
"Oh, I just figured that since that one girl called you that it wouldn't have been a problem. How come it-"
"It's because they would sing a stupid song about me, mocking me. It's annoying!" I accidentally yelled a little at the end, cutting his sentence off. I just hung my head, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry," We both said at the same time, which caused a small chuckle from both of us.
"Azure?! It's 8:30!" I heard my mom yell, she obviously saw me with Kyle, and I knew I'm going to get beaten for this.
"I-I've got to go, bye." I ran acrossed the street, leaving a rather confused Kyle, I only ran because I wanted to get the beating over with so I can get to sleep. I sighed as I got to the door, but I entered. Not ten seconds and my head was sent flying back against the door making a thud sound, only when the numbing sensation had ended, I realized I had been slapped, or punched, in the face.
"Why were you with that white boy?" She growled at me. She's just too dumb to remember one minor detail about me; I'm freaking blind! I can't tell what colour people are. I just scurried across the hall, I knew if I had said anything I would get another blow. But she kicked the back of my leg, causing me to fall to the floor. I still tried to make my way to my room but she kicked me in the ribs and grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked my head backwords.
"Listen to me. Stay away from those white people, they don't do no good for anybody!" She snarled in my ear, I choked on the alcoholic breath of hers, she then let my hair go, I held the place she tugged at.
She just doesn't really like white people, its not like she's trying to be racist its just my father was white, it kind of left a scar on her for 'his kind' as she would put it now. I lifted myself off of the floor and hurried into my room, she then locked the deadbolt so that I couldn't get out. I picked up a tiny teddy bear I had from when I was a kid and held it as I sobbed, wishing that some how, some way, I could leave this place. But, the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to leave my friends.
They finally stopped argueing, and at a record of only an hour and thirty minutes. I thought to myself and laid on my bed. I started to drift, getting the fuzzy sleeping feeling when my step-mother opened my door.
"Sorry to wake you hun," She said as she sat on the edge. I wasn't sure what was going on.
"Is something wrong?" I yawned as I turned to face her.
"No, I just came in to tell you that your father and I are about to leave for the airport."
"Oh, okay, have a nice trip." I smiled at her, tomorrow they would be in France celebrating their anniversary, my dad had messed with my mom, acting like he forgot but told her at the last second before she'd get mad at him that he booked a flight to France for a whole week together.
I'm not the romantic type, but I did find that sweet.
"Theres... still room for you if you want to come, Kyle?" I thought about it but, I would just be getting in their way. Plus, I needed to get good grades by the end of the year, its like the first day of spring so I have a while to catch up on my failed grades. And, I didn't want to arrive at the school only to be gone for a week, I didn't even tell my new friends goodbye.
"Nah, I have to get my grades. Besides, you two should spend some quality time together," I pointed out. With their jobs, a hug was rare.
"Like?" My step-mother, Celeste, was always trying to get me to be more, I don't know, romantic with things, but I just haven't really wanted too, I mean, I have interests in girls but I haven't found one that I actually like enough.
I kind of decided to myself that I would be a bachelor for life, I never really had any luck with relationships anyways, even my friends left me because I had different tastes then them so moving to Riverview is like a clean slate for me. I said the only thing came to my mind when she wanted me to suggest something, I only said it to make her stop nagging.
"Ugh. Dad gets you a rose and then you kiss under the Eifle tower?" I really had no other answer, if I didn't answer, she'd just go into a speech about how she does not want me to be alone for all my life.
"Thats more like it!" She giggled as she gave me a motherly kiss on the forehead.
"Celeste, the taxi is here, we gotta go now." My dad came in. My mom took my hand and had me get up, then she had everyone get into a group hug. It was awkward for me, but it was like a custom for her. Like a 'Good luck' thing. We all said our goodbyes afterwords.
"Be careful guys," I told them, I was always worried about trips. Except, this one was a long trip and a long ways from home.
"Heh, whats gonna happen? Our planes going to crash?" My dad, Richard, jokingly retorted. I just smiled and watched them leave. Then I hopped on my bed to watch them leave through my window, all the time, they each waved.
I sighed and flopped back on my bed, it's strange how they trusted me, especially after what happened in Sunset Valley. I considered throwing a party but, actually, I'd hate to clean up the mess. I flipped over on my side and fell alseep. Only to have this crazy nightmare about Azure. At first, she was being all friendly then all of a sudden, its like she turned into a zombie, with blood pouring from her mouth and eyes as they rolled back into her head. I gasped and sprang forward on the bed, into a cringing position.
"Maybe I shouldn't watch The Walking Dead before I sleep..." I laid back down, still thinking about the zombie Azure. The image just scared me, she just had the look of a demon after she got 'zombiefied'. I rubbed my forehead, I felt like I was in some sort of coldsweat, I even have butterflies in my stomach. After a while, I laid back down and tried to go to sleep, but unfortunately the haunting image popped up in my mind every once in a while, forbidding me from sleeping.
(P.s I'll try to post screenies later on.)