• AgnosticPriest

    Hey, I write reviews now. Aren't I special?

    Anyway, here's what I think of this chapter, separated into bullet notes for your convenience!

    1. All right, grammar and spelling mistakes galore. Wonder whether I'll get in trouble for revising this?...Edit: Can't! I wish they had a strikethrough function, however.

    2. This couldn't be more formulaic. Here's how virtually every sentence goes: Action followed by emotion/another action, misplaced detail that breaks the flow of the sentence, another action. Show rather than tell; it's imagery that makes the story engrossing. Right now, I'm having a hard time visualizing Richie's kitchen.

    Chapter 2.

    They're on the same page, so they're in the same review.

    3.It's nice to see that the new immigrant kid had a…

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