Review of "A Pleasant Story", Chapters 1 and 2.
Hey, I write reviews now. Aren't I special?
Anyway, here's what I think of this chapter, separated into bullet notes for your convenience!
1. All right, grammar and spelling mistakes galore. Wonder whether I'll get in trouble for revising this?...Edit: Can't! I wish they had a strikethrough function, however.
2. This couldn't be more formulaic. Here's how virtually every sentence goes: Action followed by emotion/another action, misplaced detail that breaks the flow of the sentence, another action. Show rather than tell; it's imagery that makes the story engrossing. Right now, I'm having a hard time visualizing Richie's kitchen.
Chapter 2.
They're on the same page, so they're in the same review.
3.It's nice to see that the new immigrant kid had a…